Where Employee Resource Groups Go Wrong Regarding Allies

<p>[[youtube:V00kOT1gnNA]]</p> <p class="lead">ERGs go wrong with allies in three ways: treating allyship as a spectator sport by inviting allies to observe without engaging, centering ally comfort over member needs by designing programming around what allies want to learn, and failing to define what good allyship looks like in their specific context.</p> <h2>The Spectator Problem</h2> <p>Many ERGs invite allies to events as observers: they can listen, learn, and support from the sidelines. But allyship that never requires action isn't allyship—it's audience development. Allies who attend events, read newsletters, and wear pronoun pins without ever advocating, challenging bias, or redistributing power are not helping. They're just present. <a href="/blog/lesson-good-bad-erg-allyship">Learn the difference between good and bad ERG allyship</a>—and how to move allies from passive to active.</p> <h2>Centering Ally Comfort</h2> <p>The most common mistake ERGs make is designing programming around what allies want to learn rather than what members need to advance. A women's ERG that spends half its meeting explaining gender bias 101 to male allies is a women's ERG that has stopped serving women. Ally education has its place, but it should never dominate member-facing programming. Create separate ally tracks, resources, and events so member spaces remain member-centered. <a href="/blog/tips-for-ensuring-your-employee-resource-group-is-inclusive">Build inclusive structures</a> that protect member space while engaging allies productively.</p> <h2>The Undefined Allyship Trap</h2> <p>Most ERGs never define what allyship means for their specific group. Is an ally someone who attends events? Someone who advocates in meetings? Someone who mentors members? Without clear expectations, allies default to the easiest definition—showing up—which creates resentment from members who expected more. Define allyship in writing: what allies do, how they do it, and how the ERG will recognize and develop them. <a href="/blog/what-makes-an-erg-sop-actually-usable">Build it into your SOPs</a> so it's consistent across leaders and events.</p> <h2>Allies as Replacements, Not Supplements</h2> <p>Some ERGs make the opposite error: they rely so heavily on allies for funding, executive access, and credibility that allies effectively run the group. This is particularly common in groups for underrepresented genders, where male allies often hold the budget authority and decision-making power. The result is an ERG that looks member-led but operates on ally timelines, ally priorities, and ally comfort. If your ERG can't make a significant decision without an ally's approval, your governance is broken. <a href="/blog/ideal-governance-structure-for-ergs-core-roles-and-responsibilities">Fix your governance structure</a> to keep decision-making in member hands.</p> <h2>The Right Model: Ally as Amplifier</h2> <p>The most productive ally relationships in ERGs work like amplifiers: allies use their positional power, networks, and resources to elevate member voices and advance member-defined goals. They don't set the agenda. They don't speak for the group. They don't expect praise for basic decency. They find out what members need and use their access to make it happen. This model requires trust, clear communication, and ongoing accountability—but it produces allyship that actually shifts power.</p> <h2>When to Exclude Allies Entirely</h2> <p>There are moments when ally exclusion is appropriate: processing sessions after traumatic workplace events, strategy discussions where members need to speak candidly about management, and spaces where members are navigating personal disclosures that could affect their safety or career. These aren't "private ERG" moments in the legal sense—they're member-care moments where ally presence would change the dynamic. Schedule them explicitly, communicate the boundary clearly, and hold the space without apology. <a href="/blog/lawyer-explains-danger-of-private-ergs">Understand the legal boundaries</a> so you can protect member spaces without creating liability.</p> <p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="/blog/lesson-good-bad-erg-allyship">A Lesson on Good & Bad ERG Allyship</a> · <a href="/blog/changing-how-i-talk-about-ergs">I'm Changing How I Talk About ERGs</a> · <a href="/blog/10-tactics-to-get-middle-managers-to-support-ergs">10 Tactics to Get Middle Managers to Support ERGs</a> · <a href="/blog/reasons-4-5-erg-leads-arent-qualified">Reasons 4 & 5: ERG Leads Aren't Qualified</a></p>