A Lesson on Good & Bad ERG Allyship
Allies are essential in ERGs—but only when they respect the space. In this issue, The ERG Homegirl introduces the “ally as tourist” analogy and how events like Dreamcon mirror the tension ERGs face with non-identifying members. Learn why excluding allies is legally risky, what bad allyship looks lik
Hey Champs 🏆
If you attended the ERG Engagement Tour Keynote Workshop (aka the 10 Rules of Engagement Workshop), you heard my take on allyship and how I compare allies to tourists. Now I want to extend that analogy into the fear ERG leaders have about letting them in.
Allies as tourists — and the "bad tourist" problem
If allies are like tourists, the fear ERG leaders carry is real: the lack of psychological safety for their community due to "bad tourists." These are allies who aren't respectful of the group's norms and customs.
There's a fascinating parallel with real-world tourism. Some places, like Kyoto, Japan, have even started banning tourists because of disruption. They're protecting a private community — very similar to how ERG leaders want to protect a private ERG from bad tourists.
A Dreamcon story
Over the weekend, a popular but niche conference took place: Dreamcon, the largest and fastest-growing Black-owned anime and gaming convention in the United States. You might think the ally in this scenario would be anyone who isn't Black, but that's not the case. Dreamcon is welcoming to everyone — "whether you're Black, white, brown, purple, or green like Piccolo." The only requirement to identify with this community is a love for gaming and/or anime. In that context, allies are people who don't share that love. (Fun fact: I fall into the ally category. I've attended these cons and even tried to cosplay.)
This year's Dreamcon was a bit different. For the first time, non-identifying people flocked to the conference due to its growing popularity (much like allies in 2020). Unfortunately, some of them disrupted the event by mocking attendees and calling them nerds, which understandably upset people.
This scenario is every ERG's worst fear — non-identifying people joining and ruining the vibe by being disrespectful. It's not super common, but it happens. The majority of non-identifying attendees (and supporting spouses like myself) showed up as actual allies — taking pictures, buying from vendors, cheering on panelists, and immersing themselves in a culture different from their own.
The reality for ERGs
Allies are essential for ERGs. And, just as important:
- Legally, you cannot run a private channel that only admits identifying people. Period.
- Companies are being sued for exclusive ERGs under claims of discrimination — quietly, but it's happening.
- At 3 of the 12 ERG Engagement Tour sessions, at least one attendee mentioned their company had recently faced this issue.
- Even asking members to indicate whether they are an ally or not is risky.
Please address this before the end of next month so one individual can't create a problem that jeopardizes your entire ERG program.
Time to reevaluate your allyship strategy
That being said, it's probably time to rethink your ERG allyship strategy. There's another side to this conversation — stay tuned for next week, when we dig into the other side of allyship in ERGs.